The Morning Chronicles – July 23.

To be good enough or not to be good enough?

I always look for the perfect thing. The perfect prop, the perfect situation, the perfect photo, the perfect chaos even. And because there’s no such thing as perfection, I never find it and get nothing accomplished. My mind and my brain both know that, but something in me – scientists have not yet discovered what organ is responsable for that – keeps saying “Naaaah, I won’t settle for anything less, wait another while…”

Two and a half years ago, for Christmas, I bought myself the book “A year of Mornings”, a present to me. I left it on a bookshelf, unopened. I wanted to take it in, really, really enjoy it in a perfect moment. A moment of quiet, peace, a moment when life was good, not worrying or hurrying.
Yesterday I opened it. Was the moment quiet? Technically yes. That means, there was no noise. But inside and all around a storm was raging. The rest and the peace and the quiet? It never comes. With 3 sick parents and being not birdy young anymore ourselves, there is always something. Not to mention the stupid things that cross one’s path. Like flat tyres, plumbers passing by…

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It’s a lovely book. Full of pictures of two young women’s lifes. Pictures that could have been taken by anyone, as they speak of moments we all live somehow, somewhere.
I myself have made probably hundreds of those snapshots of my life. But they never left my hd. Because not good enough. They didn’t make it through my selection criteria. “No, look, you can see some dust lying in that corner” – “No, can’t show that, those sheets date from last week, not fresh enough” – “Heck no, see that chair in the background? There’s a pile of clothes lying on it! That’s definitely a no-no, people will think I’m sloppy”…… Do you recognize that? And what do I see in A Year of Mornings? Exactly, a bright blue chair, with a pile of clothing on it. Unmade beds. Just some lids of cooking gear. Pictures that would have been shot down in my photography class.
But pictures that do speak of a life lived, of sunny moments and rainy times. Happy kids and sad ones.
And those pictures made it to a book! A trendsetting, bestselling photography book… So good.

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With baby steps i try to conquer perfectionism. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
With this post i guess i’m in the right direction. “The morning chronicles” – who ordered they have to be published at the break of day? So, here they are, written this morning…

See you! Marl1xo

The Morning Chronicles – July 22.

My hb is on holiday this week. That makes daily routine a bit different, sleeping longer, breakfasting longer, in short, life goes slower. But there is that feeling of “having to do” something with that free time. Visit something or so.
It’s probably because we’re not used of having no planning.
That brings me to the thought of retired people. I always found it odd that if you ask f.i. our parents to go somewhere, do something, they most of the time “don’t have time”. They need to iron, do laundry, clean, weed… I always thought: why? Why don’t they stop what they are doing, grab a coat and come with us? They can do whatever they “have” to do, tomorrow, can’t they? When i ask them, they answer: no, tuesday is ironing day, if i don’t do it now, it won’t get done.
Whether the latter is important or not, isn’t the point i guess, but i start to understand. I guess we human beings need some planning, some organisation, otherwise we don’t get things done. Recently I start admiring them for sticking to that routine, because i can’t seem to get one…

Yesterday i did some painting. Remember the scale I showed? Well, it,s finished and i like it a lot better now, than when it was red.
Now it’s waiting to be the star in a still life… Inspiration will come, I hope…

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See you tomorrow… Marl1xo

The Morning Chronicles – July 21.

Balance

It’s a national holiday here in Belgium. But we are not a country that really celebrates this event massively. So for most of us belgians it’s just a welcome “do-not-have-to-work” day. The moment i type this my hb and pup are still sound asleep.
I escaped quietly to my creative room. Got tired of lying awake already for 2 hours and lost track of all the thoughts haunting me inside my head. It’s making me too nervous, too affraid.
I must find some calmth, peace of mind… And that is so utterly difficult for me. I wish i was more lighthearted, less of the worrying kind.

Ok, being in this state of mind means I need to do something with my hands. Paint, plant, knit, clean even… anything that can take my mind off of things.

20140721-170703-61623454.jpgPaint it will be. I have a red balance here, bought as a prop some 2 years ago. But, coming home with it… well… i didn’t like the red… Thus it has been idly sitting on a top shelf all that time. But recently i discovered Annie Sloan paint… I guess the balance will change color…. The after look will be revealed tomorrow ;)

See you, Marl1een xo