To be good enough or not to be good enough?
I always look for the perfect thing. The perfect prop, the perfect situation, the perfect photo, the perfect chaos even. And because there’s no such thing as perfection, I never find it and get nothing accomplished. My mind and my brain both know that, but something in me – scientists have not yet discovered what organ is responsable for that – keeps saying “Naaaah, I won’t settle for anything less, wait another while…”
Two and a half years ago, for Christmas, I bought myself the book “A year of Mornings”, a present to me. I left it on a bookshelf, unopened. I wanted to take it in, really, really enjoy it in a perfect moment. A moment of quiet, peace, a moment when life was good, not worrying or hurrying.
Yesterday I opened it. Was the moment quiet? Technically yes. That means, there was no noise. But inside and all around a storm was raging. The rest and the peace and the quiet? It never comes. With 3 sick parents and being not birdy young anymore ourselves, there is always something. Not to mention the stupid things that cross one’s path. Like flat tyres, plumbers passing by…
It’s a lovely book. Full of pictures of two young women’s lifes. Pictures that could have been taken by anyone, as they speak of moments we all live somehow, somewhere.
I myself have made probably hundreds of those snapshots of my life. But they never left my hd. Because not good enough. They didn’t make it through my selection criteria. “No, look, you can see some dust lying in that corner” – “No, can’t show that, those sheets date from last week, not fresh enough” – “Heck no, see that chair in the background? There’s a pile of clothes lying on it! That’s definitely a no-no, people will think I’m sloppy”…… Do you recognize that? And what do I see in A Year of Mornings? Exactly, a bright blue chair, with a pile of clothing on it. Unmade beds. Just some lids of cooking gear. Pictures that would have been shot down in my photography class.
But pictures that do speak of a life lived, of sunny moments and rainy times. Happy kids and sad ones.
And those pictures made it to a book! A trendsetting, bestselling photography book… So good.
With baby steps i try to conquer perfectionism. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
With this post i guess i’m in the right direction. “The morning chronicles” – who ordered they have to be published at the break of day? So, here they are, written this morning…
See you! Marl1xo