It’s a selfportrait taken in September last year. Probably one of the heaviest periods in my burn-out experience.
At that time I was following a photography course and we had several missions. One of them had everything to do with strobist light and I was testing my flashlights and the different effects. Being home alone, I was the only “model” at hand. These pictures were never meant to be kept, let alone published. They were tests and back then I thought they were totally wrong. But, reviewing them on my monitor there was something about them that kept me from throwing them away.
I had forgotten all about them, till I started this blog. Relooking at them made me realise that this actually must be about the closest one can get to a “candid” selfportrait. Looking at it makes me realise how empty I felt. Home alone and feeling sad for no particular reason, dressed in baggy clothes day after day, I couldn’t even make an effort to look good in front of my own camera.
I think that the “wrong” lighting and the “wrong” focus add to the reflected, desperate, burned out mood.
Or, how a totally “wrong” picture can turn out right after all.
Every cloud has its silver lining… a positive message to myself and anyone who needs one ;-)