The procrastinating genius…

That’s me.  Hey, everyone has the right to be a genius in something… I’m managing that one exceptionally good. Here’s the story about a book. A book called “A life less ordinary” (and some other titles for that matter).  I heard and read that this book was so good, full of beautiful photography, story and inspiration.  A must have, so, I must have. I ordered it on Amazon about a year ago and since then it’s standing proud but idle in my idle creative room.  There’s very little to none creativity going on in there.  Inspiration went down a drain and I don’t know which one…

So about “The Book”. Sitting there, I pass it by several times a day, throw the occasional quick glance at it (and at the others on that pile together with unread magazines), bite my lip and carry on with what I’m doing. Foto 22-06-15 15 39 30 No, not today, today is not the good day for it.  First I must do…. You can fill this part in yourself because it can be anything from trimming the dog to cleaning the bathroom to finishing some knitting  project I started.  I always seem to manage to implement myself new “have to do’s first”.  By consequence those books and mags stay unopened and unread for months, years even.

Two weeks ago the weather here was cold, damp, rainy, and I had trimmed Largo (our American Cocker) and thought I deserved some quality time.  What if….?…. I fetched The Book, brewed my favorite mango tea, poured it in a brand-new cup (one of those that need to appear in my still lifes also waiting to get photographed), added some cookies, posted a quickly snapped shot of the scene on Instagram (@marl1een) and sat down, book on my lap.
It was finally, finally going to happen. But then my eye dropped on a magazine that I hadn’t yet opened either.  Wouldn’t it be better to?….  Of course!
Suppose I opened the book… then it was… well… opened…
I can’t even describe what silly voice inside made me pick up the magazine but at the end of the day, The Book still lied untouched on my table.  It’s an inviting cover though and it is already getting closer to get read, from the creative room to the sitting room table…

I’ve been like this all my life.  I can’t count the dresses, shoes I bought and didn’t want to wear until the right occasion came along.  Of course those occasions sometimes never popped and I was left with brand new stuff of a former high fashion…
It must be a syndrome, a disease of some kind, food for psychiatrists probably.  There is something that makes me think that once opened, worn, read, it disappears or is blemished.  I always think “then I have nothing left to look forward to”. Isn’t that silly?
Also with food I have this “save the best for last” thing.  I leave the delish for last and often end up being too full to even eat it…..

I do realize that some day there will not be a “last” anymore and then I will end up with not having done the really good stuff.  Am I making sense now?
And will someone please give me a kick in the b*tt and order me to open that Book?…………

(for the Dutch version click here) Foto 6-07-15 13 20 48

Disappointed

Do you also feel sometimes so disappointed in people that the only thing you want to do is:
Be left alone and sit down and cry in a little corner?
Such days are following each other one by one in my world today.

People don’t know the meaning of “friend” anymore. They think it’s a button on Facebook.
Without money, help is a vain word.
In our Belgian dictionary every year words are added… I guess there are also words removed… What happened to “respect”, “empathy”, “feeling sympathy”…

Sometimes you hear people are missing for weeks, and are found in their homes. There used to be a time when I thought: how on earth?… Now, it does not surprise me anymore. People are not “missed” anymore…

I’m glad I have my dog… He checks every few minutes where I am.
A bitter post? Aah well…

Happy is a verb – The Morning Chronicles Jan.29

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On one of my morning walks with Largo this week – always a time to meditate – out of the blue a thought dropped into my head.
Probably the consequence of watching the news and seeing nothing but misery, hate, bad financial developments… You name it.
Or watching that documentary about a circus school in Afghanistan and seeing the sparkle in those children’s eyes.

There was never a moment in history – I guess – where we had that much of anything.
That much luxury,
that much technology
and that much books written about happiness.
The how’s, the why’s.
The means to, or not to.
The do’s the don’ts.
Techniques to apply, therapies to follow…
One could easily turn unhappy because it’s impossible to read or do all that.

Me myself feel ever so often
“just not happy”
“Down”
“blue”
“off-day-ish”.

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But there I walked. Precious Largo on his leash in front of me, looking over his shoulder “hey mom, still following?”.
The streets deserted but everywhere nice houses, warm inside.
The weather outside was frightful (!) – heavy bursts of wind hitting my face, rain blowing in all directions.
But, I was walking, free.
Able to wear what I want.
No fear necessary to be harassed or worse.
I can go where I want, when I want,
eat whatever, whenever I feel something we call “hunger”.
Even our dog has more and better food than many children have.

But still everyone is searching for that abstract happiness, promoted in magazines… It became a well paying, commercial topic.

And although you can’t measure your own happiness by the unhappiness of others, this thought popped up: maybe I must start every walk with a little awareness of how lucky we are, being able to do all of the above, freely.
Happiness sits between one’s ears. It is what it is.
You can’t force it.
Neither can you buy it….
Maybe, just maybe, there’s the key… We have become so used to being able to buy about anything, that we turn unhappy with what money can’t buy…. Money doesn’t make you happy, but we have started to think it does.

Happy is thinking of what we do have, instead of what we don’t.
Happy is reminding ourselves to think about that, from time to time.
That’s why I think happy is a verb… You have to work on it.

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