Though I have to prepare our vacation, I just felt like crocheting something white this morning. Probably inspired by all the white-ish posts in my Instagram feed by those beautiful designers I admire…
I showered, made a lovely latte and chose a cream colored yarn.
Now that a lot of the corona measures have gone, my husband is off to work again outdoors.
Alone at home with our sweet pup, I put on some favorite music sometimes. And often it’s Salvatore Adamo who accompanies me. He’s got funny songs, but easily switches to very poetic ones. Like Inch’Allah or Une larme aux nuages… I love them and often they inspire me.
So here I am, crocheting white-ish pumpkins, coffee nearby, pup sleeping.
It’s not my natural habit, yet. But step by step I get better at it. How?
I start my day with what I call “a trigger”. To me that’s making my bed. Shaking pillows and duvet and then I lay it open to refresh. Somehow this action triggers me to get my day started. Then I shower.
Where I used to not have breakfast, I now eat a healthy bowl of Greek No fat yoghurt with a variety of fresh bio fruits. After that I need a latte made with delicious Alpro Barista Soya milk. Yummy! Checking my socials comes next, followed by some household necessities.
But these are not the main changes in my way of life and tackling the hectic turnmoil.
It lies in the way I move and act. In 2012 a major burnout struck me, followed by a fibromyalgia diagnosis. Together with menopause and all that comes with it (weight gain, hot flushes…) it’s been a real challenge, and it still is.
I used to “fly”, all the time! Rushing from here to there. All my movements were fast. I was occupied with 4 things at a time. Couldn’t say no, searched till I found – still do btw 🙈 – and thus was a ready victim to anyone who needed something: ask Marleen, she’ll look it up for you… I did, I found and rarely got a thanks for it.
And after all this time – 9 years already – I still have trouble slowing down. But lately I’m consciously changing my habits. I urge myself to make slow movements, though it feels I’m doing things in slow motion. Emptying the dish washer no longer is a frantic action. Also more and more often I “do” the dishes myself, with my own hands. Feeling the warm water.
I don’t rush from the washing machine to the dryer or line. I type this blog more slowly. And really, in the end, that turns out a lot faster than running with your hands over the keyboard. Result: less mistakes, less “do overs”.
And last but not least, I take slow walks with our dog, Largo. Or better said: Largo has the lead. He determines where I go and how fast, how long. Sometimes it takes us an hour to just walk our 500m street. I wait patiently when he decides to sit and watch… nothing… As far as I’m concerned he can sniff for 5 minutes in one place. Why should I ignore the wisdom of creatures who practice slow living, and living in the moment for centuries? Dogs and cats master it perfectly!
Of course I’m blessed. Blessed with this sweet pooch, but also blessed with the luxury of not working, that gives me time.
But still, I think anyone can start living slower, more conscious… one step at a time… literally.
… is a lot to say, and a lot has already been said.
Some people consider me as creative. Me? I myself not so much… I can do a bit of this, and a bit of that, but nothing good enough to really DO something with it. I don’t think I have a personal style or signature as I feel others do. Not in my photography and now also not in my crochet work. And god knows I have been looking for one. But I always feel others have bright ideas which I lack. Is this the story of the grass always being greener on the other side of the hill?
Am I alone in this?
Now, in my passion for crocheting I would so much like to design my own creatures once I master all the skills. But who’s waiting for yet another doll? Another beetle? All’s been done at least once, and I can show you in a minute about 10 patterns of, let’s say, a lemon. So why should I write/design my own pattern of a lemon?
Some time ago, I saw something on IG and thought: I can do this too! Simple stitches and technique, used by all crocheters in the world since, well, my grandmother’s time. I told the one who made it and got following answer: no! You can’t do that, that’s copying!
Now, anyone who knows me, also knows that I’m dead honest and would never, ever use a pattern, an idea, a picture or whatever, that isn’t mine and claim it as if it was. Never! I respect and admire designers, creators of whatever art form. And I always, always, give credit to them.
Considering that, I wonder: what on earth can I claim as my own design then? To stay in the crochet/amigurumi world, single crochets, magic rings, heads sewn on bodies,… it’s all been done, over and over again. As said, there are dozens of designs of lemons, of heart, made with those same techniques. Then when is my lemon – based on the fruit 🍋 – not a copy? When I give it another form? Then it’s no longer a lemon. When I add eyes (already been done btw)? Adding a few rows; making it bigger, smaller; change the leaf…? No Joe, all that is considered copying…
This question really leaves me puzzled… not to say… demotivated…